When in Rome
by Pir8grl
Summary: This is an expansion of Chapter 8 of A Universal Constant, which was originally prompted by LarielRomeniel. Thank you to my partners in brainstorming - LarielRomeniel and JaelK!


The Waverider was home, and her crew, family. A quirky, raucous, and slightly dysfunctional family, but family all the same. For some of the crew, it was all the family they had in this world. Their captain loved them dearly. Well, most of the time. But even the most dedicated captain needed a break every now and then, and a few days spent wandering a beautiful city with her lover seemed like just about the perfect prospect.

Sara smiled to herself as she packed her bag. Bikini. Sandals. A couple of flirty sundresses. A wide-brimmed straw sunhat and round sunglasses that reminded her of something Audrey Hepburn wore in an old movie. She carefully added the little blue silk nightie. The color matched her eyes, and she loved the feel of the whisper-soft fabric against her skin. She imagined the exquisite pleasure of Leonard touching her through the delicate cloth…

"Captain Lance." The AI's voice was a splash of cold water on Sara's all-too-vivid imagination.

"Yeah, Gideon?"

"I am detecting a rather serious anachronism. I think you had better proceed to the bridge, at once."

"Are you kidding me?" Sara groaned.

"I do not 'kid,' Captain, and I would not interrupt your long overdue period of recuperation without good cause."

Sara sighed heavily. "I know, Gideon. I'm sorry. I'm on my way."

* * *

Sara strode purposefully onto the bridge. "Talk to me."

"Ah, Captain," Martin began. "It's the most astonishing thing -"

"We've got a level ten anachronism," Jax interrupted.

"Actually, it's just jumped to a thirteen," Ray supplied helpfully.

"A _**what?**_ How the hell did that happen?" Sara demanded.

Nate cleared his throat. "Well, it seems that William Shakespeare is about to premiere MacBeth…in ancient Rome."

"OK, I get that he's from renaissance England, but how is that an off the charts anachronism?"

"Because he's currently in 80 AD, when the Romans have only just invaded what is now Scotland. It's full of what they consider to be barbarian tribes, so a story about kings and castles sort of sticks out. Also, Shakespeare may not live long enough to actually produce the play, since there's a really good chance he's going to be arrested and executed for penning sedition," Nate explained.

He received assorted blank looks in response.

"Roman emperors didn't take kindly to people writing stories about murdering the rightful ruler," Ray added.

"And there's also the fact that MacBeth was meant to premiere in London, in 1606. It is commonly considered to be the most productive year of William Shakespeare's career. If he dies in ancient Rome, there will be no King Lear, no Tempest, no -"

Sara raised a hand wearily. "All right, Martin, I get the idea."

"So, we go to Rome and collect a Brit in a clown suit," Mick observed, gesturing to the image of Shakespeare, complete with poufy breeches and ruff. "How hard can that be?"

"It might be harder than you think," Leonard contributed. He'd been listening intently, as was his wont. "Shakespeare attended a grammar school, so he would have studied Latin. He was a poet and an actor. If he found himself a wealthy patron of the arts, he might be very content doing exactly what he did at home. And not terribly conspicuous."

"What I don't understand is how the level jumped so high, so suddenly," Sara said.

"Many of Shakespeare's plots are incredibly universal," Martin began thoughtfully.

"Not to mention, recycled from other sources," Nate added.

"So he could have been writing away, unnoticed, until he happened to come up with a treasonous story about murdering royalty in a place where there wasn't any. Yet," Leonard concluded.

Sara flashed him a grin. "OK. That I understood. Gideon, plot us a course for ancient Rome. Martin, Ray, Nate - find out where exactly Shakespeare is holed up. The rest of you head for the fabrication room. Legends, we are going to a toga party."

* * *

Leonard Snart frowned and tried to smooth down his tunic so as to provide a bit more coverage, as it were. "You know, when I said Rome, this is _**not**_ what I had in mind."

"I know, and I'm sorry." Sara's tone was conciliatory, but a small smirk played over her lips…she really didn't object to the lack of coverage. At all. "I'll make it up to you."

An answering smile lit Leonard's face, both in response to her words, and the fact that the flowing gown, with its single shoulder strap, suited her perfectly. "Promise?"

Sara took a half step towards him, almost unconsciously, her eyes sparkling with mischief -

"How come I gotta wear a dress?" Mick bellowed, breaking the mood entirely.

"It's a tunic," Jax replied wearily, sounding as though he'd already repeated himself.

"It's got a skirt. That makes it a dress," Mick insisted.

* * *

The team gathered around the holotable, Mick still griping about his attire.

"How come the perfessor gets a long dress instead of a miniskirt?"

"Mick. Enough," Sara told him in a tone that had some of the others edging subtly away. She pinned the nerd squad with a steely gaze. "Have you guys figured out where to find Shakespeare?"

Ray shifted around a bit, clearly uncomfortable in his own tunic. "There's a wealthy Roman gentleman named Marcus Coriolanus -"

"Wait - isn't that the name of one of those plays they made me read in high school?" Jax asked.

"The title character in a play that Shakespeare didn't write until _**after**_ MacBeth," Nate supplied.

"So, we need to get into this guy's house -" Sara began.

"Villa, actually," Ray interjected. "A really nice one, as it happens."

Sara shot him a look, and kept on speaking. "We need to get into the _**villa**_ , retrieve William Shakespeare -"

"As well as anything he might be writing," Martin added.

Sara nodded. " -and all his papers, and get out without causing any damage or getting into a fight." Her gaze was fixed firmly on Mick during those last words.

Martin carefully assumed his best 'lecturing' expression and tone. "Raymond and I have been studying ancient Roman villas, and we believe this to be the best entry point." He pointed to the diagram Gideon was helpfully projecting.

Leonard frowned. "Actually, I think -"

"Thank you, Mr. Snart," Martin replied rather condescendingly, "but Dr. Palmer and I have this firmly in hand."

"I think we oughtta listen to Snart," Mick declared pugnaciously. "This is a snatch and grab. Leave it to the criminals."

"I am not a criminal," Leonard said, in a harder tone than any of the Waverider crew had heard from him. "And I wish you'd stop treating me like one."

Sara looked torn between wanting to defend her lover and…well…defending her lover in front of her crew.

Jax crossed his arms and stared at his partner in outraged disbelief. "You need to stop being such a damn snob, Gray."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I may be just a dumb auto mechanic, but even I know when it's time to talk to an expert. Leonard here went to a whole bunch of schools to learn how buildings work. One of them was in Rome. I say we listen to him."

Sara flashed Jax a grateful grin. She'd known that Leonard had been to Rome before, but not that he'd studied there. She was both grateful, and a touch embarrassed, that he'd been able to speak so freely to Jax about his past.

* * *

"Gideon, do I _**have**_ to?"

Sara curiously followed the sound of Leonard's voice to the medbay.

"I'm afraid eyeglasses had not been invented in the year 80 AD, Mr. Snart. You must either wear the contact lenses or remain on board for the duration of the mission. You cannot participate in a possibly dangerous situation with compromised eyesight."

"No," he replied stubbornly. "I'm not sitting this one out."

"Everything all right in here?" Sara asked, leaning against the door frame.

He blinked owlishly in her direction. "I hate these damn things," he muttered.

"Hey, it's OK," Sara told him. "It's a simple enough mission. We don't really need the entire team out there."

"Famous last words. You know very well that there's no such thing as a simple mission with this bunch." He sighed, looking down. "I need to earn my keep." He blinked up at her again. "I want to have your back out there."

Sara stepped over and took his hands. "Hey. You could be our Overwatch - have my back from in here, on the comms."

"I...um…I really want to see ancient Rome," he confessed.

"Well, then you need the contacts. Sit."

He complied, while Sara carefully washed her hands. She gently tipped his head back and set about inserting the lenses, and applying some eyedrops. .

He blinked up at her, then smiled. "How did you do that? I hardly know I'm wearing them."

Sara smirked. "I'm very good with my hands."

He flickered a very particular look from under his eyelashes. "You are. You are also incredibly beautiful."

Their position gave Leonard a certain amount of leverage, and he was sorely tempted to use it. Sara was clearly thinking the same thing.

"Captain Lance, the others are ready to depart," Gideon informed them crisply.

Sara huffed out a regretful little sigh, then leaned in a pressed a quick kiss to Leonard's lips. "Duty calls."

* * *

Leonard stood stock-still, drinking in every detail of the city before him. He'd been to Rome on his earth, even spent a semester studying there on scholarship, but nothing could have prepared him for this. "This is incredible," he breathed.

"It is, isn't it?" Martin agreed, with a great deal more civility than he'd shown in the past.

Leonard pointed to the newly constructed Colosseum. "I've only ever seen it in ruins, or artist's renderings. This is…I…"

Sara stepped beside him and wrapped both hands around his arm. "I really wish you could explore a little, but -"

He looked down at her regretfully. "I know. We're on a clock."

Sara bumped her head against his shoulder gently, then straightened. "All right. Martin, Leonard, and I will go to Coriolanus's house-"

Mick snickered at the name, and Sara shot him a glare.

"-grab Shakespeare and his papers, and get out. The rest of you spread out and keep an eye out for legionnaires coming to arrest him. Stay out of trouble. Do not start anything. Maybe - just this once - we'll get lucky and be able to slip out without getting into any trouble."

"Have you met us?" Nate quipped.

"Have you met a week's worth of kitchen detail?" Sara replied sweetly.

* * *

"If I may, Mr. Snart," Martin began, with rather more courtesy than he usually directed to their newest teammate, "what was wrong with the entrance that Raymond and I selected?"

Leonard shrugged slightly. "The door you picked was the kitchen yard. We're going to visit a guest. Seems like the front door is a better option."

A neatly attired servant answered the door to the grand villa.

"Good day," Martin said pleasantly. "We're here to see Master Shakespeare. We have an actress to read for the role of Lady MacBeth in his new play."

The servant rolled his eyes, but escorted them through the house to the room where the bard was ensconced.

"Ah, Master Shakespeare, what a delight to finally…meet…you…" Martin's voice trailed off.

"Delight indeed," Shakespeare replied, pushing past the two men. "God's teeth, what a fine bawdy wench! Name your fee."

"I do beg your pardon -"

Sara plastered an ingratiating smile on her face, while taking a small step back out of reach. _(It wouldn't do, after all, to damage the displaced bard.)_ "Now, Master Shakespeare, I'm here to audition for your new play."

"Oh -ho! Audition, is it? Shall we see how well you _**perform**_ in front of an audience?"

Sara's eyes narrowed dangerously, _(Maybe just a little damage?)_ but before she could draw one of the knives she had concealed under her dress, Leonard charged Shakespeare, landing a clumsy, but effective punch.

"Martin, the injector!" Sara hissed. "Someone's gonna hear all this!"

The professor, still spluttering in outrage, fumbled in his bag, as the architect and the poet rolled across the floor in a tangle of flailing limbs. Finally, Sara waded into the fray, hauled Shakespeare up by his shirt collar and knocked him out with a solid punch to the chin.

She grabbed the injector that Martin had finally extricated and dosed their new guest, to ensure that he stayed under. "Get the papers."

The professor nodded and began to gather them up.

Sara tapped her comm. "Guys, we need to leave. Now. Come around to the south side of the villa."

She looked down at Leonard in fond exasperation. "Are you all right?"

He groaned in response, and extended an arm.

Sara grasped his hand in hers and easily tugged him to his feet.

* * *

Jax and Amaya were returning the still-comatose bard to his proper place in history in the jump ship, and the others had retired to their quarters in search of actual trousers.

"I still cannot believe you got into a fist fight with William Shakespeare!" Sara scolded, as Gideon healed Leonard's black eye and assorted minor injuries.

"He insulted you!"

Sara pressed her lips together to contain her merriment. "Well…not that I approve, but it's not _**entirely**_ his fault. By the standards of his time, the only women out and about dressed like this would be…"

"I don't care. No one gets to call my girl that," Leonard insisted stubbornly.

Sara sauntered a bit closer to his chair, putting a bit of extra sway into her hips. Leonard's eyes tracked the motion, just as she'd intended.

"Your girl, hmm?"

"Yeah. I mean…um… Oh, hell. Which part of that sentence got me in trouble? My or girl?"

Moving with predatory grace, Sara hiked up her skirt and climbed into his lap, looping both arms around his neck. Leonard wrapped his arms around her, trying to keep them both steady. Somehow, he ended up with one hand on her bare thigh (And _**how**_ had the dress gotten rucked up that far?) and the other splayed across her back.

"So," Sara purred, "if I'm your girl, does that make you my guy?"

Leonard nodded, not at all trusting his voice to come out as anything other than an embarrassing squeak.

"Good." She leaned in to kiss him.

If Gideon could sigh or roll her eyes, she'd surely be doing both. "Captain Lance, if you and Mr. Snart insist on pursuing such activities in your current position, one or both of you will require additional medical attention."

With a wicked smirk, Sara slid to her feet, allowing her hands to trail down Leonard's shoulders and arms until she could grab his hands.

"How does an advanced artificial intelligence unit from centuries in the future -"

"Manage to sound like a Victorian school marm?" Sara finished his thought.

"I heard that," Gideon informed them primly.

They exited the medbay, strolling in the general direction of their rooms.

"You know," Sara began speculatively, "right before this whole mess started, I was nearly through packing for our trip."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "What a coincidence," he drawled. "So was I."

Sara looped her arm through his. "I bet we could get cleaned up and be ready to go by the time Amaya and Jax get back with the jump ship."

Leonard grinned. "I like the way you think."

"I like the way you -"

"I can still hear you, you know," Gideon reminded them.


End file.
